I’ve always planned to tell parts of my story from these last few years. Parts are too personal to share, but there are parts that God weaved together that I believe are just too good to keep to myself. So let’s jump in and head back to March 2020. I recall the exact moment I got the call from my boss. It was right before covid-19 was huge in our area of the US. It was spring break for my nephew so he was at my house and he wanted food from a small restaurant in town. Let’s not be confused, what the kid wants the kid typically gets so off I went. I had just pulled into the shared parking lot and my phone rang. I pulled over to the QT side of the parking lot because the parking was closer. “Hi Tim, how are ya?” I asked. He told me one of our major customers was canceling orders and the company was getting rid of contractors. FYI, I was a contractor. He said I had two options. OK, options are good, right? The first option was work 40 hours a week until June 30 and then I would be gone. No questions, no option to stay. The second option was I could work 20 hours a week through December. At the end of December there was no guarantee, but it was possible I could stay with the company. I chose option two immediately. He questioned me asking if I wanted more time to think about it. I said “half pay is better than no pay. Covid seems to be getting bigger and I don’t know that I’ll be able to find a job.” With that, my hours were cut in half. By the end of the week school for my nephew was cancelled until they could decide what to do. Jobs were being eliminated left and right and I was thankful I chose the second option because I wasn’t going to be looking frantically for a job during covid. December came along and I still hadn’t heard anything about my position. I asked my boss, he hadn’t heard either. He said just keep working 20 hours we’ll see what happens. Through it all I had complete peace that by April I’d be back to 40 hours a week. If I was wrong, then I was wrong, but I still knew God was going to work it out. March came and was almost gone and I had heard nothing. One day at the end of March 2021 I got a short message from my boss, go ahead and start working 40 hours. Job wise the rest of the year was pretty uneventful. 2022 comes along and the company has decided I’ve been a contractor for too long, I whole heartedly agreed. The problem was there wasn’t a job opening with my skillset. Here we go again with the unknown. There’s lots of behind the scenes stuff going on and I periodically check in to see what is happening. In the spring of 2023 I’m told I’ll be let go and told when my last day will be. They are trying to create a position for me at this point, but who knows if it will happen or not. Upper management called me and told me they were trying, but not to hold my breath, to go ahead and plan for my last day. Miracles happen and I start as a full time employee on May 1, 2023. Right after this there is a hiring freeze. God is good and on time as always! I haven’t been an actual employee in forever, I am so excited I don’t even mind all the stupid surveys and test I had to take. September 11, 2023 comes along. That evening I get an email from my boss that we have a one on one scheduled for the next day at 8:00 am my time. I think nothing of this, getting meeting notifications late at night for the next day is a common occurrence. The next morning I jump on the Zoom call and instead of his normal picture that my boss typically has up as a background, I see my boss actually sitting there and he doesn’t look like this is good news. He starts to speak and I can hear in his voice this isn’t easy for him and I knew, I knew I was getting laid off. Sure enough that’s what was happening. Later I found out it wasn’t his decision. He didn’t know until right before he sent the meeting notice the evening before. His boss didn’t know until the evening before as well. When you work at a large corporation people that don’t know you and have never worked with you make decisions about you. In this case, they looked and saw I had only been an employee a matter of months. In reality what did I bring to the table they thought. They didn’t know the history that I had been an employee at one time and had been a contractor for years. Knowing the industry it made sense for me to wait until the new year to look for a job. As much as I hated not working, it was for the best. Remember earlier when I said God was good? He was still good on September 12, 2023 when I got laid off. He was good in the moments that I didn’t understand and He was good in the moments that I rejoiced. All the while He was working things for my good. Those moments that seemed so bleak He was there. Those moments that seemed so dark, He was working. Those times I questioned, He knew. I’ve often talked about Romans 8:28 and compared it to a picture. Pictures of mountains, trees, even sunsets that people ooh and ahh over wouldn’t be nearly as beautiful without the contrasting colors. If those dark spots weren’t in the image, if everything were a bright shade the image would be lacking. Our lives are the same. The tapestry of our lives wouldn’t be as beautiful without both the mountains and the valleys.
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
God providing a job is awesome, but let’s talk health and how this whole thing worked together for my good. There is so much I could share, but we’d be here forever so I’m going to try and narrow it all down. Hopefully I don’t miss anything too important. As a contractor, the companies I worked through provided insurance, but it was horrible. I could get insurance for prescriptions, insurance for hospital stays, insurance for ER visits, insurance for walk in clinics, insurance for doctor visits, insurance for this and that, but none of those are under one plan. To get insurance for everything meant the majority of my check would be gone to insurance, then take out taxes, and I’d have no paycheck. I would end up getting insurance each year, but wouldn’t get the majority of it. I didn’t go to the doctor often anyway and I wasn’t going to the hospital unless I was half dead so I didn’t need most of it. Then I became an employee and the insurance was so much better. When selecting my benefits I picked a plan I wouldn’t have normally chosen, it was more expensive, and we all know I’m cheap, but for some reason it seemed like that was the route to go. When I got laid off even though I hadn’t been an employee very long I got a small severance package. That severance package included almost a year of insurance – score! Can I be honest though and tell you that on September 12, I didn’t care about that. I wasn’t going to need it anyway, right? I can’t tell you the last time I went to the doctor.
Between September 12 and Thanksgiving I stayed busy. I had contractors at the house, electricians, plumbers, I was doing laundry, cooking dinner, anything and everything I could find to make myself useful. I refused to sit and do nothing. Thanksgiving came and I was tired from running nonstop the previous few days. We celebrated again on Friday. On Saturday we celebrated my mother’s birthday. Everyone went home, but for those of us here we had a small dinner for my mother on Sunday which was her actual birthday. I went to bed Sunday evening exhausted and my back hurt. Nothing crazy, but it was uncomfortable. I woke up about midnight and went to soak in the tub. As I got out, I blacked out and fell. When I came to, I tried to stand only to black out and fall again. Just go ahead and press repeat on that a couple of more times. I got clothes on and crawled to the door to unlock it. My family was calling 911, I could barely stay awake and the pain in my back was worsening. My pulse rate had been fading and I was having a heart attack. I’ll skip most of the story, but I ended up at the ER and they flew me to a hospital a few hours away. After tests and a heart cath it was decided that thanks to genetics my options were do nothing or have a quadruple bypass surgery. Nothing I do is small so why would this be!?! Go big or go home, kids, go big or go home. Every doctor told me this shouldn’t have happened to me, but that’s the way genetics works sometimes. Regardless of the why my options were bypass or nothing. I chose the bypass surgery. They put a balloon in my heart during the heart cath and scheduled me for bypass first thing the following morning.
Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. Joshua 1:9
Are you wondering how I see God working all this together? Some of you might be so let me explain. God took me from a contractor and put me as a full time employee. With the full time employment came insurance that would cover a good portion of the hospital stay. I can hear people now “But you got laid off. If God was working things for your good then why’d He let you get laid off.” Do you recall me saying I did whatever I could do between September 12 and Thanksgiving? I don’t sit well. I can guarantee you that if I had a job I would have asked my family to bring my laptop to the hospital. I would have said I’m just sitting here anyway, I might as well work. I wouldn’t have given my body the time it needed to properly heal. I wouldn’t have rested at all. I’m having trouble with that now as it is. I can’t drive, I can’t lift over 10 lbs, I’m about to go crazy! If I had a job currently it would be bad for me and I know it, but more importantly so does God. God put me in a position to where I couldn’t work all day long.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:9
One day at the hospital one of my nurses was chatting with me and he wrote Diagnoses: Stubborn on the board. I just laughed and said I could have told you that. I am in a lot of ways, including being stubborn about God. You can’t convince me I’m wrong about Him. I know He exist and I don’t doubt that He has a plan. I don’t doubt that He has this whole thing worked out. I don’t doubt that He is working this for my good. Do I like everything that has happened? Can’t say that I do. Did I enjoy having surgery? Nope! Am I enjoying recovery? At two weeks, I can easily say not at all. You’re going to think I’m crazy, but I’m going to go out on a limb and tell you that I believe God is using this not only for me but others as well. At the hospital I got to talk to people everyday about God, but that’s not even what I mean. I’ve prayed for years for salvation for certain people. I’m telling you that God is going to use this along with other things to turn hearts to Him. I can’t tell you when it will happen, but I’m just stubborn enough to believe it will. I remember talking to my sisters years ago about praying the words whatever it takes. It’s an easy prayer to say, but it’s not as easy to say and mean it. I remember saying something about what if what it takes is something from me? When we say Lord do whatever it takes to bring this person to you, we typically mean God do whatever you have to do to them. Take their house, their car, their job. Lord I know it will be hard for them, but whatever you have to do to them to get them to the point that they see their need for you do it. Right? Do we mean God whatever it takes or do we mean God whatever it takes without inconveniencing me? Lord do whatever it takes or Lord, don’t let me suffer in the process? After all, they’re the one that needs to come to you so inconvenience them not me. This is gonna be a crazy idea, but what if what it takes for the person to come to God is seeing me suffer? What if it takes seeing my light shine in the valley for them to turn to God? What if I have to suffer? What if it takes me dying for them to step foot in a church again? Are you still willing to say whatever it takes? After the conversation with my sisters the words whatever it takes took on a new meaning. I whole heartedly believe this part of my story will be part of the whatever it takes for some. God is weaving this together for good. Since my life touches others He is weaving this portion of my life into the life of others and He is working it for their good as well. I stand firm in saying that there will be those saved and they will look back and say this played a part in them giving their hearts to God.
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. Matthew 5:16
God knew all along about my heart having issues. He knew because He made it. He knew the exact moment to let those issues be known. He knew what needed to happen at my job to get things taken care of. He knew the exact moment that others would need to see this situation. He has worked ALL things together, even in the valleys. As far as the job situation goes. I may fill you in on that later, but for now, just know it’s in the process of being taken care of as well.